IMDB is doomed

Dear IMDB,

When we first met, I knew it was love.  We spent hours together discovering hilarious movie quotes and remembering long-forgotten TV shows I once loved.  Your wealth of trivia was unmatched by any I had ever met!  You had all the answers for me.  You knew everything I asked you.  You were magnificent!  You helped me grow and strive for more knowledge and connect with others who shared my interests.  Even after connecting with others, I consulted you on a regular basis!  I found, in you, everything I had been looking for in a movie website.  But I’m afraid you’ve changed IMDB.  And not for the better.

At first you only hinted that I support you. That was fine, because after all, you were giving me so much!  We would go on study dates together — looking for inane film trivia — and you would give me that little nudge, suggesting that I’d need to pay to keep this relationship afloat.  Against my better judgment I stayed loyal to you, but those days are over IMBD!  Your demand for money to gain access has really hurt our relationship. You have locked me out of the intimate details in your world, only willing to submit if I join your “professional” club.

I am now denied the details I so desperately want to know!  I have given to you, even submitted a few corrections and engaged in the community. I understand that you need money, but they way you do it is just wrong. Why do you want me to pay you? You don’t have exclusive information!  Why do I need to “go pro” to read about upcoming movies I’m interested in?!

I’m trading you in for someone younger IMBD.  Someone with a bit less experience and knowledge, perhaps, but someone who will eagerly feed me the information I require.  I miss the days when we could be together without these “barriers” but those days are over.  You’ve seen to that.  I wanted to make it work out but I’ve been looking for your replacement for a while now.  The net is a big place and so many others are looking to woo me.  Others who don’t withhold information and demand I pay up.

This is it.  We had a good run, but I cant live like this anymore. I don’t want to be pressured all the time to pay you just to find out who’s been cast in the Thundercats movie. By the time you read this, I’ll be gone. I’m seeing a few other movie web sites. Its difficult, but its for the best.

So fuck you IMDB!  You were lousy in bed anyway!

P.S. I might still pop by for a booty call now and then.

Any single movie database web sites out there?

(photo by: abhinav.s)

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