Monday started the countdown of the 10 best places in the mall to hide from Zombies. You can read part one here.
The scenario so far:
You’re so bored you actually decide to go to the mall. Maybe you’re thinking of window shopping. Maybe you’re not thinking at all. You’ve probably been watching too much TV and it has sent you into a consumer frenzy, but I digress. You’re wandering around the mall when suddenly you realize there has been a zombie outbreak.
You realize this because you see a teenager chewing on a disembodied arm and while this teen could be hopped up on PCP, you’re betting its Zombies. Thinking its better to be safe than sorry you have few precious seconds to find safety. Choose wisely friend, Zombies are serious business. You don’t want to be too hasty and find yourself falling into the Gap by accident. You aren’t going to find a lot of useful attributes in the preppy small box clothing retailers. Lets also not make decisions based on food needs. That’s too boring, so pretend you’ve planned ahead. Clutching your Mary Poppins bag (or magic bag of holding) full of non-perishable foods you flee to a store best suited to holing up in until this thing is over.
5. Radio Shack- A good flashlight makes a great blunt instrument of destruction. You could also make good use of radio equipment they have. If the Government is issuing any information on the outbreak there’s sure to be a radio you can pick it up on.
4. As seen on TV- Here you can find all the crap they peddle on TV late at night. There has to be a way you can turn all those crap products into weaponry. (slap chop!)
3. JC Penney- Here’s a store you could get comfortable living in. You’ll find home furnishings galore. Not a lot for weapons though, best you can hope for is curtain rods.
2. Dollar Stores- Dollar stores are chock full of crap. Fortunately crap can be used to your benefit when you have free reign over it. Dollar stores have cheap knock off brands of everything from Lysol and hairspray, to steak knives and shovels.
1. Sears- Seriously Sears is the best possible place to be in a mall based Zombie attack. Essentially you have all the comforts of home. Comfortable beds to sleep in, an electronics department in case you get bored, clothing to wear, it’s the perfect lair. If they’d let me live there with out Zombies attacking I would. Most importantly, you’ve got quality craftsman tools at your disposal. Hammers and saw blades and CHAINSAWS! Everything in the hardware department is a tool for your use!
If you think we’ve missed something be sure to let us know. We’re always open to new places to hide from Zombies.
(Photo by: Mush2274)
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Tags: consumer frenzy, jc penney, Mary Poppins, radio equipment, radio shack, weaponry, zombies
this is crap it might be funny for the first few times but now it’s getting annoying how bout there really is a zombie apocalypse you want people to hide in a useless place where any survivers be zombie chow 0 out of 5
Obvious troll. You aren’t going to survive the onslaught very long with an attitude like that.
I would just go to a Costco, Enough supplies to last a while and plenty of stuff to make fashion a weapon from.
I would not hide in Sears!
First-NO FOOD!!!!
second-NO WATER!!!!
third- the tools will ony last you so long
If I could hide in one place when zombies attacked, it would have to be Colony Place , the Shops@5 or the Independence Mall. that way you have food, water, clothes appliances for defense or for storage and you also have ammo (bullets).
I WOULD NEVER HIDE AT A SEARS!!!!!
Try bass pro shop, they have weapons and food and you can fortify it pretty well. Me and my friends came up wit this plan at school. Steal a bus and raid costco, then head to bass pro shop and hold up there XD
I suggest hoarding up in a place VERY far from civilisation, getting everything you need and making a run for it.
If you found some sort of hotel or something to board up, then it would probably be a good idea. Nothing too big, you don’t want things jumping out at you.
Save your friends! They’ll appreciate it, and besides they’ll probably have useful skills. Example, I have plenty of friends who own and know how to operate guns.
Knives would be good too. If you’re too squeamish to bash the zombies skull in, shove something through their eye, because the eye leads to the brain.
Just remember every horror film you’ve seen, the ones about zombies of course, and remember.
Once someone is a zombie, it’ll never be able to be human, it’ll never be the same person. The person you once knew is dead, and you can’t bring them back. They would NOT like to chew on flesh when they were alive, why would they want to if they’re dead. No matter how important someone is to you, if they’re a zombie, you must destroy them.
Actually at Sears they have water fountains at the bathrooms and vending meachines at the Auto Parts section so you could survive at Sears without being too worryed about food or water for at least 2 weeks.
What about the country? Like the woods, you and the other survivors could hide out there. You’d survive, be at peace, and have nature as your friend, along with people. You’d be like a pack, elect 3 leaders, one for punishment, one for logic, one for peace type of things. And protect 10 girls, and 5 guys, that’s all needed to protect life. And the animals will help, if you’re still alive. Just be careful around bears, be nice to wolves, don’t go near hives, and know your plant based eatables.
i think a good place is a bank vault.
Bank vault? Money won’t do you any good. The lack of air won’t either. I’d say getting away from civilization is a start