Most of us have had big family holidays with aunts, uncles, cousins, and relatives of all varieties. Usually at large gatherings like this the children get their own table. The kids usually love this since it means they don’t have to listen to boring grown up talk and they get to use less than polite table manners.
At the kid’s table all the utensils are dull, sometimes the cups have lids and are almost always made of plastic, and an adult cuts up any meat since the children aren’t allowed to have knives.  The kid’s table is protected from things that those seated around it, aren’t ready to handle.

Occasionally, you might need to send an adult back to the metaphorical “kid’s table.”

There are people that will be in your life because of circumstance.  In-Laws, Co-workers, roommates and family are ingrained in your life.  These are usually not people you can simply ignore, but occasionally some of them need to be isolated from certain things.  Things, they might not be able to handle for various reasons.  Without sounding like I’ve watched  too many crime shows, maybe they can’t be trusted with certain information.  Information that can be passed around as hurtful gossip, or used as emotional blackmail.   They are no longer mature enough to have your total trust.  Maybe they never were.

It’s hard to cut them out of your life, so try to filter them instead.  Minimize the damage by limiting the things you share with them.  Trust has to be earned, but also maintained.  It’s a difficult road to re-gain trust after it has been lost.  If, once kid’s tabled, they can mature and act like a trustworthy grown up again, then you can decide to let them come back to the big table.

For now, hand them a spork and a sippy cup and direct them to their new seat.  Sometimes its easier to filter the knowledge they have than to confront them.

(Photo by makelessnoise )

*****This is in no way a healthy way to deal with a problematic relationship.  But again I’m not a doctor.  I’m a coward.

So until I find courage or until you are ready to act like a grown up….. I love you, but you’re kid’s tabled.