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Radio, I hate you. The space you take up would be better used by a coffee maker.

Filed under Rants by on August 19, 2011 at 2:02 pm {2 comments}

Dear radio,

I can’t go on like this anymore.  We’ve had some good times.  You’ve introduced me to some really good music over the years, and you’ve certainly helped me through some rough times.  But lately, our interactions have been…..  horrible.  When I listen to you, I feel empty.  I feel like a drug addict, searching harder each time for a good hit.  Something better, something stronger.  But a better hit never comes.  It’s just the same 40 hits repeatedly.  On shuffle.  For eternity.

Radio, you disappoint me.

Once, you had sympathetic voices.  Voices who might care about my heartbreak or despair.  Voices who would play songs to make me feel better.  Now you have Seacrest.  Or horrible imitators. You have homogenized the personality out of your voices and now, whenever I hear them I viciously attack your buttons to avoid hearing the inane crap they spew.

You were once reliable and true.  But you have turned into a deceptive beast.  I tune in to your stations and find that they have changed overnight, and rarely for the better.  I dislike format changes, especially when they leave a gap in genre coverage, as they often do.  Reprogramming my car stereo is annoying.  Well….no, it’s actually really easy…. but now I have fewer listening options, and that is annoying.

Your greed and your ever growing desire to appeal to everyone has ruined our relationship.  You can’t please all of the people, all of the time, and your attempts to, leave you pleasing no one.  There are too many other options out there for this idiotic behavior.  Seriously.  Pull your head out of your ass  out of the sand.   Times have changed.  We have pandora, and satellite, and itunes and spotify and a myriad of portable devices that bring me whatever I want.  If I wanted to listen to the same 12 songs every hour, I WOULD BURN A FRIGGING CD WITH THOSE 12 SONGS ON IT AND LISTEN TO IT UNTIL MY EARS BLED.  *ahem*

Take for example, this song.

I liked this song last week.  I really did.  But it’s been on, EVERY TIME I GET INTO MY FUCKING CAR.  I think at least 4 local stations are playing it and I feel like its the only song in the world.  Maybe the formerly classic rock station should have changed formats to ROLLING IN THE DEEP.  All Rolling in the Deep, all the time.

Oh, I’m sorry, no.  I’m exaggerating.

This station would also alternate Katy Perry’s obvious rip off of Rebecca Black.  And now I have to go drink excessive amounts of alcohol because I’ve just referenced Rebecca Black.  Twice.  On my own blog.  RAGE.

Anyway.

I understand, that you have operated like this for years.  I mean, stations are called top 40 for a reason, right?  But you do this on all stations.  Classic rock stations?  Really? You have at least 3 decades of music to pull from.  Must you really play “Sympathy for the Devil” by the Rolling Stones every other hour? It’s at least 3 minutes too long, and not very good to begin with.   If you really need to play the Stones that much (overrated!) can I at least get some “Paint it Black”?

And the Christian music station follows this too.  I thought I could escape from the repetitiveness on the mainstream stations, but after 3 days I discover that even the Jesus channel is making me want to drive in utter silence just to escape from the sameness.

THE SAMENESS IS KILLING ME.  The sameness is poison.  Poison with a side of psychological breakdown.

I wish this rant was more about the lack of live humans involved in radio, and the greed of Cox and Clear Channel forcing awesome people out of jobs and running 500 stations with one guy and then broadcasting the same show everywhere, while pretending its still local.  Or any of the other hundred problems with the entire radio industry.  Or how annoying the scratch and dent world commercials are.

But it isn’t.  It’s mostly about how bored I am.  Radio, I am SO bored with you.  Excuse me, I have to go burn an excessive amount of cd’s now.

 

The outrageous price of entertainment

Filed under Pop Culture, Rants by on May 11, 2011 at 1:18 pm {one comment}

While the world complains about the price of gas, I remain enraged about the price of seeing a movie.  I went to my local multiplex last night to see Thor.

21 frigging $ for 2 of us.  10.50 per ticket. If you want 3d, its two more bucks, fake IMAX will make one ticket price 16.50.  Per person.

And they wonder why people download movies.

What complete bullshit.  I could buy the DVD for less and watch on my big screen with surround sound in my pajamas without all the annoyance of interacting with morons.  I

At home there is no asshole that sits right next to me with an entire theater of open seats.  No bimbo behind me, compulsively screaming or laughing too loud. No frat boy reject answering their phone during a dramatic scene and carrying on a loud conversation. There isn’t that horrible person that keeps asking, “What’s happening?” “What does that mean?” “Why is he doing that!”   No one even laughs at the stupid etrade commercials that are not cute.  In the comfort of my own home, I do not have to abide the ignorant masses at great injury to my wallet.  I don’t have to pay a 300% markup for stale, over butterered popcorn.  I can pause the movie and go to the bathroom if I need to.

And they wonder why people prefer to download movies.   No, I can’t imagine why I would download something.

If they let me watch legally from home….I would.  The entire process of releasing a movie into a theater for a month or so and then waiting 6 more months for that film to get to DVD is archaic.

Yesterday an article on Wired reported that 23,000 Americans will be sued for downloading The Expendables.    Settlements will start at $3000 per person and carry possible prison time.  I don’t know about you, but three grand and a prison record would pretty much ruin my life for the foreseeable future, and all for a stupid summer fluff action movie.

Yeah, that seems fair punishment for something that is not only generally acceptable but encouraged in our society.

I have a “Self” magazine on my coffee table that has an article telling me where to go download or watch the latest episodes of TV or new release movies.   Legal options like Netflix, YouTube and Hulu are not mentioned.  All of the sites mentioned, are in fact, piracy sites.

Isn’t there real violent crime happening?  If you want to punish someone for getting free stuff while other people who work hard go unpaid, you should look into corporate crime.  CEO’s getting huge bonuses while laying off tens of thousands of employees to cut costs and pad their wallets…. no nothing wrong there.  We don’t want to criminalize the rich, they’re our heroes!  We’d rather go after 7 year olds and nuns who may have downloaded something that MPAA, or RIAA could make a buck off of.

The movie industry needs to change.  The technology is changing, and these old dinosaurs are going extinct because they refuse to acknowledge that change.  We have a culture of instant gratification, and that has a thousand further implications I won’t go into here, but Hollywood seems to think this instant streaming/DVR thing is just a phase we’re going through.  Yes. We’re all just rebellious teenagers, and someday we’ll grow up and think its ok to pay 15 dollars for a movie ticket.

In other news, Thor was really good, and I will support Marvel for making a good movie, by purchasing the DVD, all legal like.  And in the end, they will have 40- 50 of my dollars for just this one movie.  That’s almost a full day of working (after uncle takes his cut) to cover the price.  Eight hours at a crappy job to have 2 hours of mild escapism.  That cost makes me think I’ll skip Green Lantern, and X-men and just wait for Captain America.  Probably an early afternoon matinee. And likely the last movie I’ll go see this year.

(Photo By ladybeames)

***Painfully aware I need an editor.

Imagine all the Sheeple (Borders stores are closing- Buyer beware)

Filed under Rants by on February 20, 2011 at 3:44 pm {2 comments}

If you don’t already know, and you might not, most people don’t follow retail news like I do, Border’s is closing around 30% of their stores and has filed chapter 11.  If you want to check if your local store is closing check here.

I used to work for Borders.  I feel comfortable abandoning my usual “redacted” cowardice of protection for 3 reasons.

  1. I don’t work there anymore (Sadly… and thankfully.)
  2. They are most likely going out of business soon
  3. I have mostly nice and positive things to say about the company.  My direct manager aside, I liked everyone I met within the company, they treated their employees well and the benefits were awesome.

I found out yesterday that the store I go to all the time is closing.  Filled with an equal mix of sadness and excitement I stopped in today.  What I found there shouldn’t have surprised me.  The parking lot was a mess.  This should have been my first clue.

Inside, the check out line was like the line you’d expect for Splash Mountain or if Apple had a new diamond encrusted iphone on sale for 199.95 plus tax.   I have never seen a line of this size before in Borders.  Not on Black Friday, not on Christmas Eve.  Not when I worked the midnight release of Harry Potter.

I thought to myself, “Holy shit, are they giving away a free gold brick with purchase?”

They weren’t.  I traveled a quick loop around the store to find that pretty much everything had been discounted just 20%.

What a bunch of idiot Sheeple.  I don’t mean to sound all superior or condescending, but I won’t even put my shoes on for less than a 40% coupon, which, Borders sends out about every 3-6 weeks.  They have a 33% most weeks.  They have one out now in fact.  So, all of these people who were wasting their Sunday standing in line,  to buy 1 or 2 items, could have saved another 13% if they had just driven like 3 miles down the road to the store that isn’t closing.

And that’s not even considering the internet factor.  Amazon, craigslist, paperbackswap, bookmooch.  All places you can get books, some free, all at an insane discount, with a much better stock variety.  It is this very thing that is putting Borders on the retail deathwatch list.  I still buy books from the bookstore if I need to satisfy my instant gratification need, but again, I wait for a coupon so I’m only paying 2-3 dollars more.  There are a lot of ways to get cheap books.

But no, toss a few signs in the window and send out an email and the hordes of mindless consumers will descend and grab whatever they can carry.

Readers, I’d like to give you some advice and ask a favor.

Please wait until the discount reaches 40-50% before you go insane.  Until that time, you really can do better.

And please, please don’t be brain dead when you shop somewhere that is closing or going out of business.  You aren’t going to get customer service, you aren’t even likely to get a smile.  These employees are losing their jobs.  They probably had very little warning and they’re entitled to some bitterness over it.  Buy your bargains, be polite and leave. Don’t bitch, don’t complain, and don’t argue.

It can be very exciting to get a good deal, but try not to flaunt it too much.  You’re only getting this deal because thousands of people are losing their paycheck.  Have some sympathy and enjoy your new stuff at home.

I love you Borders.  I hang out in you like most people hang out in bars or Starbucks.  I’m not very optimistic, but I hope you make it through this.

(Sheep photo By Alexandre Dulaunoy)

(Line photo By agius)

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