Dear radio,

I can’t go on like this anymore.  We’ve had some good times.  You’ve introduced me to some really good music over the years, and you’ve certainly helped me through some rough times.  But lately, our interactions have been…..  horrible.  When I listen to you, I feel empty.  I feel like a drug addict, searching harder each time for a good hit.  Something better, something stronger.  But a better hit never comes.  It’s just the same 40 hits repeatedly.  On shuffle.  For eternity.

Radio, you disappoint me.

Once, you had sympathetic voices.  Voices who might care about my heartbreak or despair.  Voices who would play songs to make me feel better.  Now you have Seacrest.  Or horrible imitators. You have homogenized the personality out of your voices and now, whenever I hear them I viciously attack your buttons to avoid hearing the inane crap they spew.

You were once reliable and true.  But you have turned into a deceptive beast.  I tune in to your stations and find that they have changed overnight, and rarely for the better.  I dislike format changes, especially when they leave a gap in genre coverage, as they often do.  Reprogramming my car stereo is annoying.  Well….no, it’s actually really easy…. but now I have fewer listening options, and that is annoying.

Your greed and your ever growing desire to appeal to everyone has ruined our relationship.  You can’t please all of the people, all of the time, and your attempts to, leave you pleasing no one.  There are too many other options out there for this idiotic behavior.  Seriously.  Pull your head out of your ass  out of the sand.   Times have changed.  We have pandora, and satellite, and itunes and spotify and a myriad of portable devices that bring me whatever I want.  If I wanted to listen to the same 12 songs every hour, I WOULD BURN A FRIGGING CD WITH THOSE 12 SONGS ON IT AND LISTEN TO IT UNTIL MY EARS BLED.  *ahem*

Take for example, this song.

I liked this song last week.  I really did.  But it’s been on, EVERY TIME I GET INTO MY FUCKING CAR.  I think at least 4 local stations are playing it and I feel like its the only song in the world.  Maybe the formerly classic rock station should have changed formats to ROLLING IN THE DEEP.  All Rolling in the Deep, all the time.

Oh, I’m sorry, no.  I’m exaggerating.

This station would also alternate Katy Perry’s obvious rip off of Rebecca Black.  And now I have to go drink excessive amounts of alcohol because I’ve just referenced Rebecca Black.  Twice.  On my own blog.  RAGE.

Anyway.

I understand, that you have operated like this for years.  I mean, stations are called top 40 for a reason, right?  But you do this on all stations.  Classic rock stations?  Really? You have at least 3 decades of music to pull from.  Must you really play “Sympathy for the Devil” by the Rolling Stones every other hour? It’s at least 3 minutes too long, and not very good to begin with.   If you really need to play the Stones that much (overrated!) can I at least get some “Paint it Black”?

And the Christian music station follows this too.  I thought I could escape from the repetitiveness on the mainstream stations, but after 3 days I discover that even the Jesus channel is making me want to drive in utter silence just to escape from the sameness.

THE SAMENESS IS KILLING ME.  The sameness is poison.  Poison with a side of psychological breakdown.

I wish this rant was more about the lack of live humans involved in radio, and the greed of Cox and Clear Channel forcing awesome people out of jobs and running 500 stations with one guy and then broadcasting the same show everywhere, while pretending its still local.  Or any of the other hundred problems with the entire radio industry.  Or how annoying the scratch and dent world commercials are.

But it isn’t.  It’s mostly about how bored I am.  Radio, I am SO bored with you.  Excuse me, I have to go burn an excessive amount of cd’s now.

Related posts:

1. South by Southwest: Why do I Care?

While the world complains about the price of gas, I remain enraged about the price of seeing a movie.  I went to my local multiplex last night to see Thor.

21 frigging $ for 2 of us.  10.50 per ticket. If you want 3d, its two more bucks, fake IMAX will make one ticket price 16.50.  Per person.

And they wonder why people download movies.

What complete bullshit.  I could buy the DVD for less and watch on my big screen with surround sound in my pajamas without all the annoyance of interacting with morons.  I

At home there is no asshole that sits right next to me with an entire theater of open seats.  No bimbo behind me, compulsively screaming or laughing too loud. No frat boy reject answering their phone during a dramatic scene and carrying on a loud conversation. There isn’t that horrible person that keeps asking, “What’s happening?” “What does that mean?” “Why is he doing that!”   No one even laughs at the stupid etrade commercials that are not cute.  In the comfort of my own home, I do not have to abide the ignorant masses at great injury to my wallet.  I don’t have to pay a 300% markup for stale, over butterered popcorn.  I can pause the movie and go to the bathroom if I need to.

And they wonder why people prefer to download movies.   No, I can’t imagine why I would download something.

If they let me watch legally from home….I would.  The entire process of releasing a movie into a theater for a month or so and then waiting 6 more months for that film to get to DVD is archaic.

Yesterday an article on Wired reported that 23,000 Americans will be sued for downloading The Expendables.    Settlements will start at $3000 per person and carry possible prison time.  I don’t know about you, but three grand and a prison record would pretty much ruin my life for the foreseeable future, and all for a stupid summer fluff action movie.

Yeah, that seems fair punishment for something that is not only generally acceptable but encouraged in our society.

I have a “Self” magazine on my coffee table that has an article telling me where to go download or watch the latest episodes of TV or new release movies.   Legal options like Netflix, YouTube and Hulu are not mentioned.  All of the sites mentioned, are in fact, piracy sites.

Isn’t there real violent crime happening?  If you want to punish someone for getting free stuff while other people who work hard go unpaid, you should look into corporate crime.  CEO’s getting huge bonuses while laying off tens of thousands of employees to cut costs and pad their wallets…. no nothing wrong there.  We don’t want to criminalize the rich, they’re our heroes!  We’d rather go after 7 year olds and nuns who may have downloaded something that MPAA, or RIAA could make a buck off of.

The movie industry needs to change.  The technology is changing, and these old dinosaurs are going extinct because they refuse to acknowledge that change.  We have a culture of instant gratification, and that has a thousand further implications I won’t go into here, but Hollywood seems to think this instant streaming/DVR thing is just a phase we’re going through.  Yes. We’re all just rebellious teenagers, and someday we’ll grow up and think its ok to pay 15 dollars for a movie ticket.

In other news, Thor was really good, and I will support Marvel for making a good movie, by purchasing the DVD, all legal like.  And in the end, they will have 40- 50 of my dollars for just this one movie.  That’s almost a full day of working (after uncle takes his cut) to cover the price.  Eight hours at a crappy job to have 2 hours of mild escapism.  That cost makes me think I’ll skip Green Lantern, and X-men and just wait for Captain America.  Probably an early afternoon matinee. And likely the last movie I’ll go see this year.

(Photo By ladybeames)

***Painfully aware I need an editor.

No related posts.

If you don’t already know, and you might not, most people don’t follow retail news like I do, Border’s is closing around 30% of their stores and has filed chapter 11.  If you want to check if your local store is closing check here.

I used to work for Borders.  I feel comfortable abandoning my usual “redacted” cowardice of protection for 3 reasons.

1. I don’t work there anymore (Sadly… and thankfully.)
2. They are most likely going out of business soon
3. I have mostly nice and positive things to say about the company.  My direct manager aside, I liked everyone I met within the company, they treated their employees well and the benefits were awesome.

I found out yesterday that the store I go to all the time is closing.  Filled with an equal mix of sadness and excitement I stopped in today.  What I found there shouldn’t have surprised me.  The parking lot was a mess.  This should have been my first clue.

Inside, the check out line was like the line you’d expect for Splash Mountain or if Apple had a new diamond encrusted iphone on sale for 199.95 plus tax.   I have never seen a line of this size before in Borders.  Not on Black Friday, not on Christmas Eve.  Not when I worked the midnight release of Harry Potter.

I thought to myself, “Holy shit, are they giving away a free gold brick with purchase?”

They weren’t.  I traveled a quick loop around the store to find that pretty much everything had been discounted just 20%.

What a bunch of idiot Sheeple.  I don’t mean to sound all superior or condescending, but I won’t even put my shoes on for less than a 40% coupon, which, Borders sends out about every 3-6 weeks.  They have a 33% most weeks.  They have one out now in fact.  So, all of these people who were wasting their Sunday standing in line,  to buy 1 or 2 items, could have saved another 13% if they had just driven like 3 miles down the road to the store that isn’t closing.

And that’s not even considering the internet factor.  Amazon, craigslist, paperbackswap, bookmooch.  All places you can get books, some free, all at an insane discount, with a much better stock variety.  It is this very thing that is putting Borders on the retail deathwatch list.  I still buy books from the bookstore if I need to satisfy my instant gratification need, but again, I wait for a coupon so I’m only paying 2-3 dollars more.  There are a lot of ways to get cheap books.

But no, toss a few signs in the window and send out an email and the hordes of mindless consumers will descend and grab whatever they can carry.

Readers, I’d like to give you some advice and ask a favor.

Please wait until the discount reaches 40-50% before you go insane.  Until that time, you really can do better.

And please, please don’t be brain dead when you shop somewhere that is closing or going out of business.  You aren’t going to get customer service, you aren’t even likely to get a smile.  These employees are losing their jobs.  They probably had very little warning and they’re entitled to some bitterness over it.  Buy your bargains, be polite and leave. Don’t bitch, don’t complain, and don’t argue.

It can be very exciting to get a good deal, but try not to flaunt it too much.  You’re only getting this deal because thousands of people are losing their paycheck.  Have some sympathy and enjoy your new stuff at home.

I love you Borders.  I hang out in you like most people hang out in bars or Starbucks.  I’m not very optimistic, but I hope you make it through this.

(Sheep photo By Alexandre Dulaunoy)

(Line photo By agius)

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Those who would give up Essential Liberty
to purchase a little Temporary Safety,
deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.

~Ben Franklin

Look, I hate to get all Ben Franklin on you guys,(again) but we’ve got to stop some of this insanity.  This so-called security is nothing more than elaborate theater preformed to give an illusion of safety.  I’m sorry if this scares you, and I’m sorry if this is going to burst your little imaginary bubble, but….

If someone really wants to kill you, you’re probably going to die.

If someone wants to break into your house, you’d better have insurance, because your stuff will be missing.

If someone wants to crash your airplane, the only thing that’s going to keep it up is, if ordinary passengers take action against the ass-hat trying to take it down.

TSA isn’t really helping.  They’re hassling.  We need to stop terrorizing and strip searching 5 year old children at the airport.  We need to stop using these full body scanners that probably cause cancer and certainly steal any privacy we have left.  I understand that privacy is just as much an illusion as security, but that doesn’t mean I want unqualified strangers taking nude pictures of me at the airport and then leaking them to the public.  I don’t want to wander around in my socks waiting to get cancer.  And I really don’t want to have my monthly breast exam in public via TSA pat down.  From what I understand, (and I could be wrong, my research on this is lazy at best) the guy that locks the door at your local McDonalds has a better background check than TSA agents.

I would like to be able to attend an out of state wedding and not have my mascara confiscated.  OH NO THE TERRIBLE THREAT OF SLIGHTLY DARKER EYELASHES!  *gasp* Seriously though, its time to take it down a notch.

I’m probably going to be added to some watch lists for this article, and I’m most certainly going to be disowned if this ever gets into the appropriate hands but….

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”  ~Edmund Burke

Travel as safely as you can this holiday season readers.

Via: Criminal Justice Degree

(Photo By iowa_spirit_walker)

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Why do they call it a straw that broke the camel’s back, when usually it is more like an anvil?

Thank you [name of workplace redacted] for so thoroughly disgusting me with your shady business practices.  This is truly a lesson learned in the ways of the world.  Thank you for ensuring that I can never consistently exorcise any religious freedom by forcing me to work during any logical time any church service would be held.  In order to keep my job and position I am not allowed to observe Sunday as a day of rest much less attend a church service, since the shift I’m required to take is one that would interfere for both morning and night services on both Saturday and Sunday.

Thank you for always and consistently treating me as if I’m subhuman.  As if it is not bad enough that you expect me to smile while your horrible customers treat me like filth on their shoe, I must also smile while you treat me as if I had no thoughts, no feelings, no emotions, no soul of my own.  Which is something that I submit to in order to draw a paycheck from your wretched hive of scum and villainy.  I will not however subject myself to your self serving, corporate greed morality at times I am not on your premises or engaged in company business.  You cannot police my personal internet usage.  You cannot dictate my moral code.  Despite the doomsayers on TV, THIS IS NOT A FASCIST NATION YET.

Which brings me  to the issue at hand, the anvil.  Thank you [redacted] for your feeble attempts to quiet my voice.  Such a lovely new policy you’ve dreamed up.  A policy I am forced to sign my name to in agreement and because of the fact that I signed “under duress and protest”  I may still be fired for non-compliance.   The fact that I litter the internet with the words of my dissent means I may still be fired.  For a policy that I feel is in direct violation of my rights as an American citizen.  Are you trying to imply that my employment with your company voids my rights as an American citizen?  Or, since you have outsourced so much of your manufacturing, and tech support  to China and India, perhaps you have forgotten how to treat your employees state side.

Thank you for forcing me into willful disobedience.  My voice will not be quieted.  I will not abide by your new rule.  I will not “demonstrate respect for you, your owners, your customers, your vendors or my fellow associates” if that respect is not earned or deserved.  Where I once would have kept my mouth shut, you have given me reason to shout.  I will now seek out avenues for my voice of dissent and I can guarantee you that I will make comments and engage in communications that violate your “Business Code and Handbook policies.”  I AM the ever petulant child who will now do things just because you have said I can’t.  I will use social media in anyway I see fit as you are not my parent, and I am of legal age.

I will not chant “the pigs are always right” while you drag me off to the glue factory.

It is funny (pathetic) to me that everyone in a position higher than mine feels as if I’m blowing this entire escapade out of proportion, that I’m being melodramatic.  None of this is a big deal, I should just accept this policy and others with a compliant smile on my face.  This is just the company moving forward with changing times and technologies.

Meanwhile those  at my level or below (with few exceptions) either feel this doesn’t impact them or are similarly outraged but ultimately feel they had no choice but to consent.  They are too insignificant to the company to matter.  It wouldn’t matter if they protested, if we protested, we’re all expendable.

To those of you who feel this isn’t a big deal, those who think I’m an idiot on a foolish crusade… to you I’d say, perhaps you are comfortable with your complacency.  It’s possible you’ve all become desensitized sheep who’re too lazy, too lulled into your self absorbed world to realize your voice has been taken.  Perhaps you are too stupid to care.  Keep on drinking the Kool-Aid on your way to the slaughterhouse.

To conclude, I find myself sickened by this greed filled corporate culture that would place the “all mighty dollar” above the worth of a person.

PEOPLE MATTER. Big people.  Little people.  Broken people.  People with no voices of their own.  People who’ve had their voices silenced, or those who never had one to begin with.

So evil, greedy, soulless [redacted] please continue to replace what was once quality merchandise with low cost/high mark up junk which is produced in mass in China by 11 year old children who are lucky to receive a quarter for a day of work.  You actually fit in just fine here in this new society of selfishness and greed.

It is obvious to me that I am the one who is in the wrong place.  I am the one who doesn’t fit in here.  Sorry to have crashed your party.  It will be rectified as soon as possible.

Tongue in cheek thank you’s and sarcasm aside…

Thank you God for finally breaking my writer’s block/laze in a most unexpected way.

Those who would give up Essential Liberty
to purchase a little Temporary Safety,
deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.

~Ben Franklin

(Photo by: abracapocus_pocuscadabra)

No related posts.

Don’t spur a willing horse.
~Ancient proverb

It never ceases to frustrate me how many people in “leadership” positions penalize the people who work hardest for them.  Why disparage those who work for you?  Does that ever work?  What could you possibly be thinking when you so diligently set out to destroy morale of everyone around you?

But the question that I most want to ask bad bosses and leaders is:  Have you never seen a movie?

Or read a story?  Tv even?  Seriously.  It’s really irritating to see such blatant ignorance.  The tyrant always loses.

Does anyone ever root for the heartless tyrant?

Lets look at the well known story Robin Hood.

The sheriff of Nottingham is evil, mean, pretty much without redeemable qualities whatsoever.  His greed and selfishness are undeniable.  But above all, he treats everyone around him like dirt.  He yells, he screams, he blames others for his mistakes.  Nothing is ever good enough, all he sees is failure in his people.  As a result, he fails.  His soldiers and men fear him, but they don’t respect him.  They work for money, or for lack of options, but they are anything but loyal.  Belittled, broken people will do just enough to stay off the radar.  When no one is looking, productivity ceases.  The sheriff stands around ordering people to do his dirty work and, at the end of the day, you can’t expect people to do things for you, that you wouldn’t do yourself.

Whereas Robin’s men are loyal to the death.  He treats his people as equals, he is kind and obviously a generous person.  People are inspired by his leadership to the point that the very idea of Robin Hood is what has power, the man is no longer necessary.  Robin Hood stands side by side with those who follow him, fighting and bleeding and sacrificing as much if not more of himself… and that is why he always wins.

Inspiration is a far stronger motivator than fear.  Fear is temporary.  Inspiration has a life of its own.

So again, why do “leaders”, “managers”, people in charge resort to acting like tyrants?

More importantly…..how do these people get promoted in the first place?

(Photo by gumuz)

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Yesterday I free form ranted about the lameness of the ever controlling, ever psychotic Edward Cullen.  At the end I left you with this little gem:

Edward Cullen is an allegory for Heroin.

Bella is a tragic drug addict who eventually overdoses.  Lets look at some of the classic signs of drug addiction.

Feeling that you have to use the drug regularly: This sums up Bella’s feeling towards Edward pretty accurately.  She gets nervous when he’s out of sight.  Anytime he disappears for an afternoon she spends the time wallowing in whiny self pity.

Feeling that you need the drug to deal with your problems: She pretty much abandons all idea of a future without him.  She is unable to make any choices without Edward’s approval.  Anytime anything happens she has to consult her drug for answers.

Focusing more and more time and energy on getting and using the drug: Face it.  All of Bella’s time and energy revolve around finding ways to spend more time with her drug.

Other symptoms include, isolation, impaired judgment, panic, depression ect.

So, basically if you wanted to describe someone with a drug problem, just describe Bella Swan.  She constantly lies to her father and to a lessor extent her mother.  She has no friends outside of Edward’s family.  This isn’t romance, its addiction.

The entirety of New Moon is Bella going through a LONG drawn out detox.  When the movie shows Bella sitting in that chair while the months pass, I see that creepy detox scene from Trainspotting with the baby on the ceiling.  I’m serious. Its the same thing, pathetic screams and all.

compare to…

After Edward leaves and Bella goes through detox, she starts to get her shit together again.  She still harbors some suicidal tendencies, but she is forming a semi- normal bond with a long time friend.  Until she goes back in for another hit.  She becomes a desperate addict again and it kills her.  Yes Bella is eventually overcome with so much stupidity that she overdoses on Edward.

This is a story that only holds a shred of romanticism because it is told from the perspective of the junkie.  Of course a junkie will tell you heroin is awesome, they’re a friggin junkie! Told from, perhaps, her father’s perspective this entire saga becomes a very sad tale of a girl who couldn’t just say no to drugs.  So if you drop away the angst and the prepubescent glamorization, we have a bland, lifeless, boring girl who gets tangled up in drugs and dies as a result.  Yes.  Yes I see why everyone is obsessed with this.  makes perfect sense to me now….ugh.

Can we collectively stop making this “character” a role model?  She has no redeemable qualities.  Twilight is a terrible example of everything.  Relationships, growing up, decision making…. even the writing….everything is just awful.

Please J.K. Rowling, write some more books now so we can leave Stephanie Meyer far far behind us.

For an awesome f-bomb filled synopsis of the last book proceed to this link.

(photo by: by permanently scatterbrained)

Related posts:

1. Twilight: The most evil story ever told (Part 1)
2. 5 Books Better Than the Twilight Saga
3. South by Southwest: Why do I Care?

Ok, I’ll admit that title might be a bit extreme, but Twilight is seriously misleading and damaging to a person’s perspective on relationships.

I wrote a little about my dislike for the scourge of literature that is the Twilight Saga when the teaser trailer for Eclipse first hit the internet, but now that every other Tweet or Facebook status update I read is about this stupid movie, I feel I can stay silent no longer!

They are awful books and its horrifying that little girls are idolizing them.  Though I really wish it weren’t the case, I have read all 4 books, each a bigger train wreck than the one before.   I kept hoping that the worst was behind me.  Maybe the end was worth all this ridiculous melodrama, but no.  Nothing of value ever popped up, it just kept getting worse.

Bella and Edward have, maybe, the most unhealthy relationship ever.  The relationship is a classic example of abuse.  One could argue that his controlling behavior is all in Bella’s best interest and within the confines of the story they’d have a case.  A weak case, but there is some evidence to support such a thing.

When listening to someone insist that Edward’s controlling (psychotic) nature is only for clumsy Bella’s benefit I can’t help but think she’s trading her practically absent biological father for a over-protective supernatural one.

It is outside the confines of the story that Twilight has danger.  This poorly written series has become a cultural phenomenon.  Little girls, teens, grown ass women are idolizing Edward and Bella as if this is the perfect example of what relationships should be.  If this is what a relationship should be like, then I guess sign me up for an Ice pick lobotomy RIGHT NOW.

He constantly keeps her from seeing a childhood friend to the point where he disables her car.  He encourages her to lie to her father, repeatedly.  He “nonchalantly” mentions that if she leaves him that he will kill himself.  It goes on and on.  If you want a good  list of the examples of controlling behavior I09 had a nice article about it

But no, I get off topic….control is not the real issue at hand.   My point is that…..

Edward Cullen is an allegory for Heroin.

This got a lot longer than I’d planned so more on that tomorrow….

(Photo by: shutterpillar)

Related posts:

1. Twilight: The most evil story ever told (Part 2)
2. 5 Books Better Than the Twilight Saga

“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. ~Lily Tomlin

I would be lying if I said I didn’t complain.  I do.  Frequently.  In fact if my mouth is moving there is at least a 40% chance the words falling out are some kind of “complaint”.  I tend to rant about lousy things that happen throughout my day, but I try not to dwell, and I’m trying to cut back. I like to think of it as venting.  Like a release valve, I get it all out and feel much better afterward.

Apparently, complaining is habit forming, and generally spreads bitterness and negativity.  But its so fun. Like vodka.  Fun in moderation, but keep at it and you’ll be miserable in the morning.

However, there is a difference in complaining about something legitimately, and complaining just to complain.  Chronic complainers are annoying.  These people try to martyr themselves at any opportunity.  They tend to be self absorbed and talk continually about how they’ve been singled out, and picked on unfairly.

Ugh.

Let me complain about the complainers.  It’s hard to be around these people, everything is wrong and bad and somehow mistreating them.  It’s exhausting!  If all you see in life are the bad things, then all you’ll have are bad things! Try changing your perspective.  Be grateful for something instead of wallowing in your negativity.

There ARE times to complain.  Sometimes you might need advice, or need to bring events to someone’s attention.  After all, the squeaky wheel gets greased and all that noise.   However, if the only reason you complain is to get pity from those around you….  well maybe you should knock it off.

Do you complain too much?  When is it alright?

(photo by frankenstoen )

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Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them. ~John Shirley

My weekend has been a whirlwind of insanity.  It is for this reason that I regret to inform you that this is not a usual Monday morning update.

This is a cop out.

This is me, phoning in a Monday article.

The more I think about it, the more I start to realize that maybe having Monday be the first post of the week was a flawed plan.  Monday are terrible.  Does anyone really give 100% on Monday morning?

I have other excuses for my laze.  For example my schizoid boss is “re-configuring” everyone’s schedule.  I have no idea how I got Monday off this week, but I’m going to run with it.

Or I could blame Netflix for their outstanding instant streaming service that brings me constant, mindless entertainment.

But really, the fault is mine.  I shouldn’t try to pass the blame on this one.  I don’t have to work today, and therefore my eyes demand more closed time.  I see the picture up there of that awesome napping cat and I can’t help but want to go back to sleep.  A mid-morning nap, if you will.  Even the promise of coffee is not enough to keep my eyes open.

…and so I will return to slumber and hope that those of you who are back to the grind this morning have as pleasant a Monday as your circumstances and outlook allow.

(Photo by audi_insperation )

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2. It’s a Website!
3. Not so helpful, self help experts