Dear radio,

I can’t go on like this anymore.  We’ve had some good times.  You’ve introduced me to some really good music over the years, and you’ve certainly helped me through some rough times.  But lately, our interactions have been…..  horrible.  When I listen to you, I feel empty.  I feel like a drug addict, searching harder each time for a good hit.  Something better, something stronger.  But a better hit never comes.  It’s just the same 40 hits repeatedly.  On shuffle.  For eternity.

Radio, you disappoint me.

Once, you had sympathetic voices.  Voices who might care about my heartbreak or despair.  Voices who would play songs to make me feel better.  Now you have Seacrest.  Or horrible imitators. You have homogenized the personality out of your voices and now, whenever I hear them I viciously attack your buttons to avoid hearing the inane crap they spew.

You were once reliable and true.  But you have turned into a deceptive beast.  I tune in to your stations and find that they have changed overnight, and rarely for the better.  I dislike format changes, especially when they leave a gap in genre coverage, as they often do.  Reprogramming my car stereo is annoying.  Well….no, it’s actually really easy…. but now I have fewer listening options, and that is annoying.

Your greed and your ever growing desire to appeal to everyone has ruined our relationship.  You can’t please all of the people, all of the time, and your attempts to, leave you pleasing no one.  There are too many other options out there for this idiotic behavior.  Seriously.  Pull your head out of your ass  out of the sand.   Times have changed.  We have pandora, and satellite, and itunes and spotify and a myriad of portable devices that bring me whatever I want.  If I wanted to listen to the same 12 songs every hour, I WOULD BURN A FRIGGING CD WITH THOSE 12 SONGS ON IT AND LISTEN TO IT UNTIL MY EARS BLED.  *ahem*

Take for example, this song.

I liked this song last week.  I really did.  But it’s been on, EVERY TIME I GET INTO MY FUCKING CAR.  I think at least 4 local stations are playing it and I feel like its the only song in the world.  Maybe the formerly classic rock station should have changed formats to ROLLING IN THE DEEP.  All Rolling in the Deep, all the time.

Oh, I’m sorry, no.  I’m exaggerating.

This station would also alternate Katy Perry’s obvious rip off of Rebecca Black.  And now I have to go drink excessive amounts of alcohol because I’ve just referenced Rebecca Black.  Twice.  On my own blog.  RAGE.

Anyway.

I understand, that you have operated like this for years.  I mean, stations are called top 40 for a reason, right?  But you do this on all stations.  Classic rock stations?  Really? You have at least 3 decades of music to pull from.  Must you really play “Sympathy for the Devil” by the Rolling Stones every other hour? It’s at least 3 minutes too long, and not very good to begin with.   If you really need to play the Stones that much (overrated!) can I at least get some “Paint it Black”?

And the Christian music station follows this too.  I thought I could escape from the repetitiveness on the mainstream stations, but after 3 days I discover that even the Jesus channel is making me want to drive in utter silence just to escape from the sameness.

THE SAMENESS IS KILLING ME.  The sameness is poison.  Poison with a side of psychological breakdown.

I wish this rant was more about the lack of live humans involved in radio, and the greed of Cox and Clear Channel forcing awesome people out of jobs and running 500 stations with one guy and then broadcasting the same show everywhere, while pretending its still local.  Or any of the other hundred problems with the entire radio industry.  Or how annoying the scratch and dent world commercials are.

But it isn’t.  It’s mostly about how bored I am.  Radio, I am SO bored with you.  Excuse me, I have to go burn an excessive amount of cd’s now.

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While the world complains about the price of gas, I remain enraged about the price of seeing a movie.  I went to my local multiplex last night to see Thor.

21 frigging $ for 2 of us.  10.50 per ticket. If you want 3d, its two more bucks, fake IMAX will make one ticket price 16.50.  Per person.

And they wonder why people download movies.

What complete bullshit.  I could buy the DVD for less and watch on my big screen with surround sound in my pajamas without all the annoyance of interacting with morons.  I

At home there is no asshole that sits right next to me with an entire theater of open seats.  No bimbo behind me, compulsively screaming or laughing too loud. No frat boy reject answering their phone during a dramatic scene and carrying on a loud conversation. There isn’t that horrible person that keeps asking, “What’s happening?” “What does that mean?” “Why is he doing that!”   No one even laughs at the stupid etrade commercials that are not cute.  In the comfort of my own home, I do not have to abide the ignorant masses at great injury to my wallet.  I don’t have to pay a 300% markup for stale, over butterered popcorn.  I can pause the movie and go to the bathroom if I need to.

And they wonder why people prefer to download movies.   No, I can’t imagine why I would download something.

If they let me watch legally from home….I would.  The entire process of releasing a movie into a theater for a month or so and then waiting 6 more months for that film to get to DVD is archaic.

Yesterday an article on Wired reported that 23,000 Americans will be sued for downloading The Expendables.    Settlements will start at $3000 per person and carry possible prison time.  I don’t know about you, but three grand and a prison record would pretty much ruin my life for the foreseeable future, and all for a stupid summer fluff action movie.

Yeah, that seems fair punishment for something that is not only generally acceptable but encouraged in our society.

I have a “Self” magazine on my coffee table that has an article telling me where to go download or watch the latest episodes of TV or new release movies.   Legal options like Netflix, YouTube and Hulu are not mentioned.  All of the sites mentioned, are in fact, piracy sites.

Isn’t there real violent crime happening?  If you want to punish someone for getting free stuff while other people who work hard go unpaid, you should look into corporate crime.  CEO’s getting huge bonuses while laying off tens of thousands of employees to cut costs and pad their wallets…. no nothing wrong there.  We don’t want to criminalize the rich, they’re our heroes!  We’d rather go after 7 year olds and nuns who may have downloaded something that MPAA, or RIAA could make a buck off of.

The movie industry needs to change.  The technology is changing, and these old dinosaurs are going extinct because they refuse to acknowledge that change.  We have a culture of instant gratification, and that has a thousand further implications I won’t go into here, but Hollywood seems to think this instant streaming/DVR thing is just a phase we’re going through.  Yes. We’re all just rebellious teenagers, and someday we’ll grow up and think its ok to pay 15 dollars for a movie ticket.

In other news, Thor was really good, and I will support Marvel for making a good movie, by purchasing the DVD, all legal like.  And in the end, they will have 40- 50 of my dollars for just this one movie.  That’s almost a full day of working (after uncle takes his cut) to cover the price.  Eight hours at a crappy job to have 2 hours of mild escapism.  That cost makes me think I’ll skip Green Lantern, and X-men and just wait for Captain America.  Probably an early afternoon matinee. And likely the last movie I’ll go see this year.

(Photo By ladybeames)

***Painfully aware I need an editor.

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If you don’t already know, and you might not, most people don’t follow retail news like I do, Border’s is closing around 30% of their stores and has filed chapter 11.  If you want to check if your local store is closing check here.

I used to work for Borders.  I feel comfortable abandoning my usual “redacted” cowardice of protection for 3 reasons.

1. I don’t work there anymore (Sadly… and thankfully.)
2. They are most likely going out of business soon
3. I have mostly nice and positive things to say about the company.  My direct manager aside, I liked everyone I met within the company, they treated their employees well and the benefits were awesome.

I found out yesterday that the store I go to all the time is closing.  Filled with an equal mix of sadness and excitement I stopped in today.  What I found there shouldn’t have surprised me.  The parking lot was a mess.  This should have been my first clue.

Inside, the check out line was like the line you’d expect for Splash Mountain or if Apple had a new diamond encrusted iphone on sale for 199.95 plus tax.   I have never seen a line of this size before in Borders.  Not on Black Friday, not on Christmas Eve.  Not when I worked the midnight release of Harry Potter.

I thought to myself, “Holy shit, are they giving away a free gold brick with purchase?”

They weren’t.  I traveled a quick loop around the store to find that pretty much everything had been discounted just 20%.

What a bunch of idiot Sheeple.  I don’t mean to sound all superior or condescending, but I won’t even put my shoes on for less than a 40% coupon, which, Borders sends out about every 3-6 weeks.  They have a 33% most weeks.  They have one out now in fact.  So, all of these people who were wasting their Sunday standing in line,  to buy 1 or 2 items, could have saved another 13% if they had just driven like 3 miles down the road to the store that isn’t closing.

And that’s not even considering the internet factor.  Amazon, craigslist, paperbackswap, bookmooch.  All places you can get books, some free, all at an insane discount, with a much better stock variety.  It is this very thing that is putting Borders on the retail deathwatch list.  I still buy books from the bookstore if I need to satisfy my instant gratification need, but again, I wait for a coupon so I’m only paying 2-3 dollars more.  There are a lot of ways to get cheap books.

But no, toss a few signs in the window and send out an email and the hordes of mindless consumers will descend and grab whatever they can carry.

Readers, I’d like to give you some advice and ask a favor.

Please wait until the discount reaches 40-50% before you go insane.  Until that time, you really can do better.

And please, please don’t be brain dead when you shop somewhere that is closing or going out of business.  You aren’t going to get customer service, you aren’t even likely to get a smile.  These employees are losing their jobs.  They probably had very little warning and they’re entitled to some bitterness over it.  Buy your bargains, be polite and leave. Don’t bitch, don’t complain, and don’t argue.

It can be very exciting to get a good deal, but try not to flaunt it too much.  You’re only getting this deal because thousands of people are losing their paycheck.  Have some sympathy and enjoy your new stuff at home.

I love you Borders.  I hang out in you like most people hang out in bars or Starbucks.  I’m not very optimistic, but I hope you make it through this.

(Sheep photo By Alexandre Dulaunoy)

(Line photo By agius)

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I hate rainy days.  Those gloomy, all day long, gray, rainy days.  They’re miserable and all I ever want to do is sleep.  I want to hide in my cave of an apartment and sleep.  Wake up long enough to eat some soup and then go back to sleep.  I have bear-like instincts.  It’s yucky outside and I just want to hibernate until the sky looks better.  Dreary, rainy days are terrible.

But I love apples, and flowers, and trees, and… breathing.

The thing about rain is, that we need it.  We really really need it.  As crappy as they are, they are extremely necessary.  The rain makes plants grow and plants are good to eat, or look at, or at very least, they create oxygen.  Even though I have a negative physical reaction to these days of gloom, I end up really enjoying the result.

Sometimes, things we hate are exactly what we need.  Things that make us miserable now, are preparing us for something fantastic in the future.  Sometimes we have to put up with today, so that we can enjoy tomorrow.  You have to go to work today to earn a paycheck, so you can go out on Friday.  Or…..so you can pay your electric bill and not freeze to death in the winter.

It seems to me that God sometimes uses confusing, strange, not so good circumstances and events to shape us into the person we need to become.. the person we’re supposed to become.  He brings us to problems so that we learn to trust Him, but also so that we can learn.

It’s no secret that I pretty much despise  my boss, but through my interactions with her I am learning to love the unlovable, to overcome evil with kindness, to become more patient.  I am learning to pray and forgive someone who does…pretty much nothing to deserve it.  If nothing else she has provided me with plenty to blog about and I am *cough* grateful for that opportunity.

And someday…..God please someday… I’m going to have an actual career and this time I’ve spent in oppressive servitude will have given me skills and knowledge I will need.  It will help me to appreciate my awesome new job.

What can you really know about yourself if you’ve never experienced pain, or loss, or rejection.  If no one has ever been mean to you, or treated you unfairly, how can you appreciate the people in your life who love you?  If every day were sunny and 75 degrees, you wouldn’t appreciate the weather.  You’d have no basis of comparison.  You need to accept the rainy days.  Or the snow.  A cold day or gloomy winter, makes it all the more glorious when the sun comes back.

Take the time in your current circumstances to learn and grow.

(Photo By pennacook)

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Today I turn 29.

29.  There it is.  Almost 30.  This number seems much higher than it should be.  I don’t feel 29.

I feel like a cake that isn’t fully baked.  Still mostly batter inside.  If you put any pressure on me, I’m unstable, still gooey.  I’m going to give us all salmonella.

Most of the time I feel like I’ve been on the verge of starting my life for over 10 years now.  Always teetering on the edge of so much opportunity and never falling over… never actually getting started.

When you’re 18 they tell you that the world is your oyster .  Problem is that I’ve been scratching at the outside of the oyster for 11 years and I feel no closer to finding whats inside it than I was at high school graduation.

But lately, I’ve been a bit less panicked about speeding towards 30.  I’ve gained a bit of perspective on things.  I’ve been thinking about the greatest person who ever lived.  Jesus.  Someone who still  has major impact on the world 2000 years after his death.

Pretty much everything we know about Jesus Christ happened after he turned 30.  Other than being born and teaching at the temple when he’s 12, the bible says one thing about what Jesus did in his early years.

“And Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature, and in favor with God and men.”

Before that line he’s 12 and the next thing we read after, he’s 30 and being baptized.  All the years between, he spent learning and growing.

Learn and grow.

Jesus spent most of his life preparing for his great purpose.

As far as I can tell, Jesus didn’t own a house, or get married and have kids (SHUT UP DAN BROWN).  He certainly didn’t drive a flashy sports car and have a solid 401k.  His life wasn’t measured by our opinion of success.

So, I’m not going to worry or stress out about turning 29 and still being so undercooked.  I also reject the world’s opinion of success.  I’m ignoring the oyster.  It will open when it’s ready.

I will spend the next year learning and growing.  Preparing for whatever lies ahead and helping others learn and grow if I can.

I might spend 30 more years learning and growing before I’m fully cooked and I’m ok with that.

(Photo By chidorian)

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To be clear and upfront, I’m not an expert on anything.  I don’t have any fancy letters after my name, I didn’t even finish my BA.  I’m not a scholar or a theologian.  I’m just a girl.  I think thoughts, I do things, I try to be better tomorrow than I was today.  I share my thoughts if I think they might help someone, or be amusing.

If you disagree with my words, you may certainly say so.  I’m not unwilling to admit I’m wrong.  If you find that my ideas are wrong or faulty, feel free to bring it to my attention.  I’m always willing to learn, and see things from a fresh perspective.  I’d only ask you be respectful and open minded.

(Photo By misteraitch)

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This is a post of top 5 lists that sum up my year.  Hope your 2010 was great.  Celebrate with great zest and mild responsibility.

5 posts I don’t think enough people read

Are you too distracted?

The importance of family and friends

Why should you start a gratitude journal?

An unhealthy way to deal with Toxic People

A healthy way to deal with Toxic People!

5 best things that happened to me in 2010

Rededicating to seek God

Visiting my family/Attending my cousin’s wedding

Meeting a lot of great new people

ANDROID! ( I love my smart phone)

Starting my blog and getting it operational on my own

5 awesome books I read this year

Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer

Crazy/Love by Francis Chan

The Shack by Wm. Paul Young

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

The New Testament from THE BIBLE

5 movies that I saw and loved this year

Equilibrium

The Hangover

Zombieland

Pandorium

This Film is not yet Rated

5 TV shows I finally watched and loved

Arrested Developement

Dollhouse

Soul Eater

The Guild/Dr Horrible

30 Rock

5 things that sucked away my time

Netflix

Dragon Age (Video games in general)

Empty internet time (compulsively refreshing facebook, reading unhelpful junk…ect.)

Sleep

LOST

5 things that deserved my time and didn’t get enough of it

God

This blog and writing in general.

Reading

Maintaining relationships

Being grateful and encouraging to others

5 things I blew off….again.

Going to the Doctor/Dentist

Getting a new job

Really dedicating myself to find a new career

Committing to writing (write a book?  Blog regularly…ect)

Getting a pet

What top 5 lists sum up your year?  What great books or movies did you read or see?  Any 2010 regrets?

(Photo By koalazymonkey)

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Merry Christmas readers!  My hope is that you all have a wonderful day.

Long after the paper is trashed, the gift cards are used up and you’ve long forgotten what was in those boxes under the tree, I hope you carry with you the warm memories you create today.  That is the real gift.  I hope you feel the love of God and the love of your friends and family today and in the new year.

Have a great Christmas.

(Photo By valeblos)

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Proving that I’m not a hater of all December music, a list of songs I actually do like.  I like my Christmas music to be meaningful, or at least happy.  I’m obviously not a fan of the more materialistic elements of the holiday.  I prefer to give and receive presents that are thoughtful as opposed to expensive and I like songs that encourage love, joy,mirth, peace on earth, goodwill toward men.  You know.  All those words they print on Christmas cards, they aren’t empty words.  They actually have definitions.

And I don’t really understand the current necessity of cleansing Christmas music of any overt reference to Jesus.   Are people really so stupid that they are angry when they hear CHRISTmas songs that mention the birth of Jesus CHRIST?  Really?  I get it that some people don’t believe in God or Jesus, and I get that some people don’t celebrate Christmas, but we live in a culture that is obsessed with Christmas, so I’m sorry, you’re going to run into Christmas stuff.

And while I’m ranting, fellow Christians….  We are not called to spew hatred and malice on people who don’t share in our joyous celebration of Jesus, so stop it.  You aren’t doing anyone any favors.  Yes.  Stand up for your right to celebrate Christmas, but please stop being so ignorant of everything that this baby grew up to teach us.  Love people.  All people.  Even if you disagree with them.  Even Especially if they’re mean to you. This bickering is destroying any attempt to witness.

And another little tirade… getting angry that a Christmas song sings about Jesus, is like ordering Iced Tea in a restaurant and being upset when your tea has ice in it. Its right there in the name.  Ice is a main ingredient.  See what I’m getting at here?  Christ is right there in the name.  You ought to know what you’re getting into.  Come on.  There is no surprise factor here.

Ok.  Rants aside, here are my favorite Christmas songs.

THIS awesome song I just found Christmas Can-Can by Straight No Chaser while I was looking for the next song.

12 Days by Straight No Chaser

It came upon a midnight clear- Just a nice song.

Hark! the Herald Angels Sing

12 Days of Christmas – John Denver and the Muppets ba dum dum dum  ( I perfer the version with Beaker singing seven ladies dancing, but I’ll take either one.)

Ding Dong Merrily on High

The Christmas Song by Alvin and the Chipmunks- Ok, so its a materialistic song.  Alvin is obsessed and greedy for a hula-hoop, but its still a really fun song.  And Alvin is an animal not a person.

What Child Is This-

O Come all ye Faithful

O Little Town of Bethlehem-

Wonderful Christmas Time by Paul McCartney-  This is so obnoxiously 80′s sounding.  Shut up.  You know you secretly love it too.

O Holy Night- Such a beautiful song.  My eyes malfunction pretty much every time I hear this song, whoever sings it.

and because I like it so much a second rendition….

This became a huge video post really quick.  When I started I only intended on listing 5.  Oooops.  Oh well.  What about you?  What is your favorite Christmas song?

(Photo By Fr Antunes)

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I work in retail, and many of you might not understand that this time of year is pretty much horrific to retail slaves.   My store has been stocking “holiday merchandise” since July.  The Christmas music started the day after Halloween.  Trust me when I tell you I’ve reached my “Little Drummer Boy” quota for the year.  I’m ashamed that I had to waste most of my free Shazam-ings this month to identify some of these horrible tunes, so here they are.  The worst Christmastime songs….

Feliz Navidad- specifically by Celine Dion.   Are you serious?  She’s French Canadian!  SHE IS FRENCH CANADIAN! Why isn’t she singing some french song!  To be clear, I have no problem with this song ordinarily.  BUT COME ON! CELINE DION?

All I want for Christmas is you-  Ugh.  I’m sorry Jon Acuff from Stuff Christians Like.  I love your writing but I cannot share your love of this song.

Christmas Island- by Ella Fitzgerald Oh I hate this song.  Stupid, stupid song that I get stuck in my head ALL THE TIME.  No one even likes this song enough to put it on youtube, so you have to hear the version by Kristin Chenoweth which isn’t nearly as bad.

Mele Kalikimaka- by Bing Crosby Another  catchy islandy Christmas song.  BLARG.  I don’t mean to offend Islandy Peoples, but this song….this song makes me never want to visit Hawaii.  I don’t get why retailers think this song (or the one above for that matter) is going to make people feel more in the(new) Christmas spirit of greed and consumerism.

Santa Baby- by ANYONE EVER I’m not linking to a video of this song.  You know it.  We all know it.  It’s some whiny chick caterwauling about all the material crap Santa needs to bring her, and it is representative of everything horribly, horribly wrong with Christmas and our culture.    She wants expensive crap and she wants it NOW.   If I were in the business of making YouTube videos I’d play this song over a montage of Black Friday Stampedes and 5 years olds having vicious temper tantrums in a ToyRUs.  Of all the songs on this list, I’ve ever heard, this is the one I wish could be unwritten.  It is the anthem of every materialistic jackass that waits until the week of Christmas and screams at store clerks for being out of stock on popular items.   I hope when you celebrate GREEDmas you tell little Suzy that you made everyone around you feel worthless, that you made a minimum wage employee cry because you wanted another 2 dollars off your precious Suzy’s crappy toy.

Other observations of yuletide lunacy:

Jingle bells: Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh?  This is not something I would describe as fun.  I think anyone with snow experience would prefer a closed sleigh.

Little Drummer Boy:  The ox and lamb kept time?  Animals with knowledge of musical timing? That’s pretty miraculous on its own.

I’ll be home for Christmas:  If only in my dreams….  That’s nice.  As if it’s not hard enough to be away from home and family on Christmas without having this song blasted at your ears all the time reminding you the only way you can be home is through a hallucinatory mental illness.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas:  Next year all our troubles will be miles away.  No.  They probably won’t.  Next year you’ll sing this line again, and hope it’s true, again.

12 Days of Christmas:  The only acceptable version of this song is with John Denver and the Muppets. All others are boring and repetitive.

Barking Dogs do not equal music.

What Christmas songs do you hate most?

(Photo by mcclave)

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